Friday was an interesting experience. Lance went in for a PET scan to take a look at his entire body. This will show us how far spread the cancer is and if there are any other problems in his body.
I admit, I wouldn't mind having a PET scan! I think it would be kind of cool to see my insides and get a jump on anything that might be lurking.
Lance reports that the procedure is pretty uneventful. After being shot up with radio active isotopes in his arm, they waited for about 45 minutes (while he took a nap) before putting him on a platform under 2 big metal donuts. The donuts took an hour to slowly inch their way up his body making all kind of noises (that prevented a second nap) and that was it.
Meanwhile, out in the lobby...I set up my mobile office, stuck in my earphones and put my head down to work. It was difficult not to be distracted by the patient traffic. Especially since this was not your typical waiting room. The patient parade was a disturbing, reality gripping scene.
"We're not those people." I kept saying to myself. I scanned the room and caught sight of the wall lined with brochures and hand outs on cancer nutrition and counseling services. "We're not those people. We don't need these materials!"
I wept inside for the family members wheeling in their loved ones dressed in ill-fitting pajamas, mere shadows of a whole person. I'm sure they felt the same as I did at the start of their journey. They weren't "those people" either.
My mind started to wander to the 'what if' questions and fear began to rise. And just before the inside tears manifested outside, I softly heard the Lord say, "Fear no fear."
I pondered how to apply that. Scripture is full of 'fear not' passages. From the shepherds in the field witnessing the angel's glorious announcement of our saviors birth, to the disciples seeing Jesus walk on water.
Fear no fear. A word for all of us, as life is full of uncertainty. Living in fear of 'what if' is no life. Not the life that God has in mind, anyway.
Instead of giving into the fear I gave into the courage and peace that God offered. I can choose. I am not out of control. Lance and I can choose.You can choose.
So we choose to be brave. We choose to breathe peace and exhale anxiety.
Tomorrow afternoon we'll see the results of the donut's work and choose to be brave no matter what they say.
8Fear not, nor be afraid [in the coming violent upheavals]; have I not told it to you from of old and declared it? And you are My witnesses! Is there a God besides Me? There is no [other] Rock; I know not any.