I thought I would be a better blogger. Really, I did. But it's a little tough to keep up the pace when I have so many other plates spinning.
I have had this recurring vision of my life. It consists of about 10 white plates spinning on long poles on a pitch-black stage. There are bright beams of light directed over each plate. They spin and spin and eventually, one or more at a time will begin to wobble.
The other part of the vision is me running from plate to plate. As each one wobbles, I run. And it can't be that the plates next to each other wobble. Oh, no. They have to be plate number 1 and plate number 10 that are needing my attention.
"I am so tired." I lamented to Lance as I stood in the bathroom curling my un-curlable hair as he sat on the lid of the toilet listening. (Earlier he walked in while I was getting ready with my breakfast in hand and a feeding tube running out of his nose. He made toast and eggs. I didn't ask him to make breakfast, he just wanted to bless me. And he did.)
But as soon as the words fell out of my mouth, guilt fell over my mind. How could I complain when the person I hold most precious on earth is fighting cancer? How selfish. It's only the 11th plate - that's all - one more plate that I can keep spinning and it's worth the effort.
I had a revelation the other day. Hit me like a ton of bricks. Lance and me, we're worth the trouble. If Satan can spend so much time and energy on reeking havoc in our lives, when there are sooo many others he can bother, we must be worth it.
I could sit here and type for another 3 hours straight and tell you story after story of how our family has been tormented by tough stuff. And the more we are tormented, the deeper we dig in our heels. The closer Lance and I get as a couple. The more we love God. The more we want to serve and be a good witness for the Christian faith.
And this cancer? Well, this cancer has done nothing short of bringing about a closeness in our family that nothing else could accomplish.
I am never one to taunt the enemy but if we are so worth the trouble, bring it on. Because it means that we are taking ground - ground that is rightfully ours and has been stolen from us. And if the only way to get it back is to fight - we'll fight - we'll keep the plates spinning - we'll honor God and spread His fame in the land we've been given. It's worth the trouble!
In Job 2:10, Job answers his complaining wife with a good question:
"Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips.
Lance and me, we are good in adversity. We've learned to handle it well and obviously, there must be good reason. Because Satan thinks we're worth the trouble and that's a compliment.
I am beginning to understand what James meant when he said, "Count it all joy when you encounter trials of many kinds." (James 1:2) It means not only the perfecting of our faith, but the understanding of our value. Just as we are valued in God's eyes, we are valued in the eyes of our enemy as a great spoil of war.
I intend to stand strong and be on the receiving end of the spoils! It's worth the trouble.
Have to show you the latest picture of our sweet grand baby, Lily. She's coming for a sleep over this weekend. Can't wait, she's the absolute best 'spoil' we've ever received! :o)